PSA: Don’t Read The Comments, Even On A Fucking Recipe.

talking without brainsI read the comments this morning.

Not the comments here. No, I keep those well-moderated and have no problem slam-dunking someone into the Oblivion of the Block List if they act like an ass. And most of you are awesome, so, go you.

No, I made the mistake of scrolling past an article I was reading into the comments section.

I know. I know. Rookie mistake. You hate to see it.

Usually I know better. Hell, I used to have a browser extension that blocked the comments sections of websites unless I clicked to make them show themselves like the cowardly insects they are. It was great. No more accidental scrolling past the updates for the local library to see the barely-literate complaining that libraries are “obsuleet”.** No more looking up a book review and seeing the hate for characters that are anything but straight white cisgender men. No more sexist trolling on feminist journals. I switched browsers recently and hadn’t put the extension back up yet. No reason; I’m used to stopping before the comments.

But I was looking at a recipe, for fuck’s sake. I wanted to check other’s results making it. I thought that was safe.

Silly writer.

Anyway, after the devolution of a fucking recipe into a bigoted, slur-filled, all-caps screaming match, I am prompted to issue the following notice:

If you preface a sentence with “I’m not a racist, but…”, then you probably are. And a liar to boot.

Likewise for “I’m not a sexist, but…” and “I’m not a homophobe, but…” and “I’m not an ableist, but…” and and and…

I could really keep going forever. Just like those comments sections. Reading them is like swimming in raw sewage.

If you follow one of those openings with a comment that is racist, sexist, homophobic, or otherwise bigoted, then, yeah, you are that thing. You’re just trying to deflect the criticism with a half-assed attempt to show that you know those things aren’t cool. Which is somehow worse. You know saying those things is bad, but you can’t be arsed to actually stop saying them.

That behavior will get you blocked on this site, now and forever.

So, the next time you feel the urge to say “I’m not a [insert bad thing here], but…”, just don’t. Because you probably are. You’re just giving yourself an excuse.

*Immediately after writing this, I enabled Shut Up for Chrome. Ahhhhhhhhh.

**Not a joke.

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13 thoughts on “PSA: Don’t Read The Comments, Even On A Fucking Recipe.

  1. I am not a sparkly vampire, but…

    🙂

    But in all seriousness, wtf is wrong with people? On a RECIPE site? That’s just a deeper level of cray-cray. Goes to show some people are just eager to stir up trouble.

  2. I was watching Craig Ferguson’s new show ‘Join or Die’ the other day, and a country music singer (not normally a group I associate with ribald wit) put it perfectly. I’m paraphrasing, but he essentially said ‘I can’t stand comments/message boards. A friend told me, “don’t let a few bad apples spoil the bunch”, but that’s not how I think about it. I’m more like “someone has shit in the pool, and we all have to get out right now. I don’t know who’s done it, but someone has shit in the pool.”‘

    • Hahaha, that’s how I think of the good parts of Reddit: it’s like a really great restaurant in the middle of a sewage treatment plant. Sure, the food can be great, but do you really want to wade through shit to get there?

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