I’m almost out of coffee. On a Monday fucking morning. How the hell did I let this happen?
I blame myself. For drinking it. In retrospect, that was a dumbass move.
Also, I’m trying to quit sugar for a while. So, no sweet tea for me. Which means more coffee.
It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. I can make it last. At least until I can get more delivered.* I think. I hope.
Well, really, it’s everyone else that should be hoping. The spectre of me caffeine-less at the beginning of a week should inspire only slightly less horror than the contents of your grandmother’s sex toy chest.
Sorry for that image. But if I have to suffer, everyone has to suffer.
I foresee a lot of running to the local coffee shop today. Might as well have a go at depleting their supply as well. Then the town will be filled with wandering caffeine junkies, all red-eyed and twitchy, trying to knock down pedestrians and and devour their adrenal glands. BRING ME YOUR ADRENAL GLANDS.
Today’s Challenge then, sinners: something is running out. What happens when it does?
Coffee, food, vaccines, watchable episodes of Lost, people in your small town you can fuck without committing incest…sooner or later, all supplies run out. And after that, it’s fucking chaos.
That’s it. I need to go hunt down some caffeine. I’m out. *Drops the mic, leaves the stage, kills an audience member for their sweet sweet adrenal glands.*
*Clarification: we own a Nespresso machine. Which makes a better long shot than any place in town. But the capsules can’t be bought anywhere around here. On the upside, delivery is fucking stupidly fast. Which, come to think of it, makes sense for a coffee company.