Brain: OH HEY.
Me: Zzzz….buh? Wha’s goin’ on?
Brain: CHECK THIS OUT.
Me: Burglars? Fire? Aliens?
Brain: NOPE. EVERYTHING’S FINE. CHECK THIS OUT.
Me: …It’s quarter to four in the goddamned morning.
Brain: I KNOW. AWESOME, RIGHT? CHECK THIS OUT.
Me: I am going to kill you, even if it kills us both. Because you are an annoying little git.
Brain: I DIED DOING WHAT I LOVE. NOW CHECK THIS OUT.
Me:…Story ideas? You woke me up in the asshole of the night to show me story ideas? Can you not see that I was sleeping?
Brain: SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK. NOW WRITE THIS DOWN BEFORE IT GOES AWAY.
Me: I’ll have to go to the other room. Can’t you hold on to it until morning? You know, proper morning, not this cut-rate pre-dawn bull shit?
Brain: THAT’S NOT THE DEAL, MOTHERFUCKER.
Me:….Did you just call me—?
Brain: THE DEAL IS YOU WRITE THIS DOWN NOW OR I FLUSH IT DOWN THE MEMORY HOLE FOREVER. THAT’S HOW THIS WORKS. NOW STOP BEING A WHINY LITTLE TIT AND GET OUT OF BED, ASSFACE.
Me: (getting out of bed) I hate you.
Brain: HA HA HA. YOU’RE ADORABLE WHEN YOU’RE TIRED AND HOMICIDAL.
Me: (going to find notepad) Die in a fire.
Cat: Oh, are you awake now? Awesome. Feed me, servant, lest I rend your feet with my claws.
Me: (writing) I’m going to start mainlining coffee.