MC and Me: Why We’re Not Friends

wanna play the backstabber, little boy?

This is the actual relationship I have with most of my characters. (Photo credit: arboltsef)

Me: Hey. You.

Main Character: Just a second. Kind of busy. This guy isn’t going to stop bleeding on his own.

Me: Yeah, I know. I wrote it that way. I was the one who—

MC: Can you keep it down? Balls, what is that, a spleen? I’m trying to work over here.

Me: Me, too. And here’s the problem: I can’t.

MC: There are many problems in the world, but that one is, I am happy to announce, not mine. But this guy’s internal organs seeing daylight is, or will be shortly. So shut up.

Me: It kind of is yours. Because I can’t write until I know something.

MC: What’s that?

Me: Why you came home. I mean, you fucking hate this place.

MC: No kidding. Did you see that harbour? It’s horrible.

Me: Is that a dead dog floating there? Over by the…well, I’m going to assume despite the smell that it’s a log, because pieces of shit don’t get that big unless you’re a dinosaur.

MC: Not just a dog.

Me: What are you—oh. Oh. I did not put that there. Who did that? Who fucking did that? That’s disgusting.

MC: And this is what I have to work with.

Me: Right, so why are you? You don’t want to be here. I mean, you’ve got family here, and friends—

MC: Who are in a terrible situation, thank you so very much. You’re an asshole, you know that?

Me: Sorry. But why are you here? Why come back to a place you hate?

MC: Well…it’s kind of a secret…

Me: You can tell me.

MC: Yeah, but…*looks at me* Oh, all right. Come here.

Me: *leans closer* yeah?

MC: I didn’t so much come home…as I did run away from something else.

Me: Really?

MC: Yeah. There was no where else to go, you know? But don’t spread it around, because I have a feeling it might have followed me here anyway. And I so can’t deal with that while all this other shit is going on.

Me: Yeah. Yeah. I can see that. It’d be really hard. And dramatic. There’d be lots of terrible moments. People would probably die.

MC: *notices me edging toward the door* Where are you going?

Me: Oh…I just left my…I mean I have to…things. Over there. Lots of things. *Bolts for the keyboard*

MC:…Well, fuck.


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