Posts Tagged ‘inspiration’

About Last Night

Posted: May 17, 2013 in inspiration, writing
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Human brain NIH

OH HAI. YOU BUSY? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Brain: HEY.

Me: Zzzzzz.

Brain: OH HEY.

Me: Zzzz….buh? Wha’s goin’ on?

Brain: CHECK THIS OUT.

Me: Burglars? Fire? Aliens?

Brain: NOPE. EVERYTHING’S FINE. CHECK THIS OUT.

Me: …It’s quarter to four in the goddamned morning.

Brain: I KNOW. AWESOME, RIGHT? CHECK THIS OUT.

Me: I am going to kill you, even if it kills us both. Because you are an annoying little git.

Brain: I DIED DOING WHAT I LOVE. NOW CHECK THIS OUT.

Me:…Story ideas? You woke me up in the asshole of the night to show me story ideas? Can you not see that I was sleeping?

Brain: SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK. NOW WRITE THIS DOWN BEFORE IT GOES AWAY.

Me: I’ll have to go to the other room. Can’t you hold on to it until morning? You know, proper morning, not this cut-rate pre-dawn bull shit?

Brain: THAT’S NOT THE DEAL, MOTHERFUCKER.

Me:….Did you just call me—?

Brain: THE DEAL IS YOU WRITE THIS DOWN NOW OR I FLUSH IT DOWN THE MEMORY HOLE FOREVER. THAT’S HOW THIS WORKS. NOW STOP BEING A WHINY LITTLE TIT AND GET OUT OF BED, ASSFACE.

Me: (getting out of bed) I hate you.

Brain: HA HA HA. YOU’RE ADORABLE WHEN YOU’RE TIRED AND HOMICIDAL.

Me: (going to find notepad) Die in a fire.

Cat: Oh, are you awake now? Awesome. Feed me, servant, lest I rend your feet with my claws.

Me: (writing) I’m going to start mainlining coffee.

Monday Challenge: Running Out Of Time

Posted: May 6, 2013 in monday challenge, random
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Dental hygienist polishing a patient's teeth

I chose this picture entirely because it weirds me the fuck out. Enjoy. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

After blowing off my entire to-do and chore list yesterday to go for a long run and then hike to some awesome waterfalls with friends, I started today under the gun.

And now here I am, just past noon, working on the second-to-last* item on my list. Apparently the way to get me to do something is to not give me enough time to do it in.

I’ve heard this myth before: the I-work-better-under-stress myth. Usually in school, coming from the mouth of someone staying up until 4 am to finish a research paper.** It’s a lie, of course—I am most definitely not working better right now—but it can be a useful one. One that gets you out of someday and into now.

Now, if people said that they worked better under a deadline, that I could get behind. Because nothing is more motivating than the knowledge of a clock ticking down somewhere. The clock means Consequences, which are far harder to ignore than a shrug of disappointment.

So the Monday Challenge, fellow toilers of keys and brain, is this: write me a deadline. Somewhere, there is a timer, and it will run out. What happens when it does? Doom?*** Teeth cleaning? Velociraptor Jesus descends from the sky on a hoverboard to take us away? Or something worse?

Write me tension, write me time, write me the nail-biting, heart-pounding, stomach-clenching realization that time is running the fuck out. And then what happens when it does.

I’m off to finish my to-do list.

*Note that placement on the list is more indicative of time constraints than importance. There were like eight fucking things I had to get done before eleven A.M or forget about entirely.
**I also stayed up late to finish papers at the last minute, but my excuse was more like, “What? I was busy drinking. Get off my back or get me more cigarettes.”
***Always my first choice.

Monday Challenge: Into the Mist

Posted: April 29, 2013 in monday challenge, setting
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We went hiking on Saturday. The trail we went to is the Skyline, one of the most popular in the province because of its incredibly scenic views.

However, this was what we saw:

Behold the amazing panorama of the Skyline Trail!

Behold the amazing panorama of the Skyline Trail!

Amazing, right? Looks like the inside of a ping pong ball. The weather, which was supposed to clear well in advance of our trek, did not. Weather can be a dick like that. The whole world beyond those rocks had vanished, to the point where we couldn’t even see the cliff edge. Seemed like a good day to stay on the trail, I must say.  

But as we were sitting on the lookout in the middle of a cloud and eating lunch, we started talking about what we would say we saw when our friends asked us how the hike went. Because no one is going to admit they went on a ten kilometer hike known for its spectacular view and admit they saw nothing, right? But if you’re going to embroider the truth, you might as well spray paint the fuck out of it.

So we started passing ideas around. About what could be out there, just beyond sight. And, man, in that kind of fog, it could have been anything. Popular choices included sea monsters, space ships, mer-coyotes*, big ominous rocks, and Narnia.

So, here’s your Monday Challenge, writers: what’s out there?

*Predator of the deeps.

Monday Challenge: Pixar Mad-Libs

Posted: April 22, 2013 in monday challenge, plot
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Mad-Libs

There are no words. (Photo credit: Aaron & Alli)

I am busy today. New story in the works. It needs attention lest it wither and die on the keys.

But I have not forgotten you. Today’s challenge will simply be presented without my erratic, sweary preamble*. All the swears are going into the story. I may need to edit.

Couple of weeks ago, I did a series of posts on outlining a story, in which I took something from initial idea to giant list of questions to finished outline. This was the in-depth sort of outline which I generally favour.

But there are other views as well, and this is one I’m a big fan of for getting focus on ideas. It’s the Pixar Story Formula, and god damn if it doesn’t work surprisingly well. The internet tells me it was tweeted by then-Pixar story artist Emma Coats as part of a series of Pixar story-telling rules. All the rules are here, but this is the one that concerns us.

Once upon a time there was ___.
Every day, ___.
One day ___.
Because of that, ___.
Because of that, ___.
Until finally ___.

Today’s Monday Challenge: fill in those blanks. You can use a story idea you’re working on or something you’ve already got written and want some clarification on. Or, if you just feel like doing mad-libs, you need a noun/occupation/person, activity, event, event, event, ending.

Have fun. I’ll be back when I finish this story.

*Well, less of my erratic, sweary preamble.

Sharpening Iron: The Benefits of Clever People

Posted: April 17, 2013 in inspiration
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Knives Sheathed

More is better, right? (Photo credit: mrbill)

I wouldn’t be the writer I am without my friends.

Sounds trite, but it’s true. I’m not exactly a social fucking butterfly*, but I’m lucky enough to have collected some interesting people in my life. We eat, drink, make merry, and generally enjoy ourselves. They make life more fun for me, and I like to think I do the same for them. At the very least I’ve probably introduced them to some highly creative swear words.

And as I said, from a completely fucking selfish point of view, they make me a better writer.

I have a group of friends, most of whom aren’t writers, but all of whom are very clever people. And not that kind of clever where every comment is a thinly-veiled blade trying to take a dig at someone. We’re just people with pretty varied interests and good senses of humour who enjoy what I can only describe as the game of conversation. We like being clever, and playing off each other, one thing leading to another, until the expression ‘Well of Souls Ugly’ has become part of the personal group lexicon. By playing like this, and keeping malice out of it, we not only have a lot of fun, but I think we make each other sharper and quicker. Gods know we can just keep rolling on a random tangent for ages at a time. And we kick ass at trivia nights.

Ever heard the old phrase ‘iron sharpens iron’? It works here, too. Those friends of mine make me a better writer because of the way we talk. I get quicker with a turn of phrase. I look at things in a different way. I consider the previously unconsidered. Surrounding yourself with people who push you, who challenge you, who make you work, makes you better.

So surround yourself with the bright and the clever and the non-dickish.** I agree that it’s a tall order; people like that can be hard to come by, and I’m really fucking lucky to have half a dozen or so this damn close. But don’t give up. Try new groups, online meeting places, your local cockroach racing ring…whatever. Those people are out there, somewhere.

And when you find them, have fun.

*Social wasp might be closer: fuck with me and mine and I will sting the hell out of you.
**This last one is key. Too many clever people I know just like to see someone else bleed. They make people feel dumber, not smarter. Seriously, people: stop being assholes to each other. No one wins that game.

Making Space For Creativity

Posted: April 10, 2013 in inspiration
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Mike napping on the couch

Do not disturb. Creativity in progress. (Photo credit: fireflythegreat)

Ever wonder why you always get your best ideas in the shower?* Or right when you’re about to fall asleep? I used to think it was just my brain being a dick—here, have a wonderful idea at a time when it’s completely useless, and, while we’re at it, fuck you—but then I read a couple of articles like this. And this.

For those of you who couldn’t be arsed to click through, those links lead to articles about the importance of relaxation and boredom for creativity. Which makes sense: it’s very hard to hear any kind of inner voice in the midst of all the noise we surround ourselves with. We’re constantly distracted by the sheer volume of other shit going on. In other words, if you want the ideas and the inspiration, you’ve got to make room for them. Like vampires, they only go where they’re invited.

You have to leave space for creativity. We have this thing—at least I do—about scheduling every last minute of the day. If we’re not doing something, and something that we deem worthwhile at that, then we feel that time has been wasted. We have to be working, exercising, socializing, something. Even low-key activities like reading tend to fall lower on that scale, and we feel guilty ‘wasting’ time on them.  And if we’re not doing that shit, then you can be damn sure we’re stuck in front of our computers or smartphones, obsessively checking every twitch and fart of the Internet.

We need to reintroduce boredom to the mental ecosystem. Not real boredom, where you’re genuinely at a loss for what to do. Just the lull in activity that makes you think, makes you go inside your head and find something to do. We need the space to do nothing.

So, give it a try. Turn off your wireless connection, put away the phone, get away from the TV, and stop checking in on Twitter every eight seconds. Trust me, it’ll all continue without you. Just sit and listen to the silence for a while.

And see what turns up.

(For those of you keeping score at home, there are two new rejection letters to add to my 2013 total. Thanks for playing, Tesseracts 17 and Sword and Mythos! This brings the yearly count up to three, for three different stories. Uh…go, me?)

*Point of fact: I tend to think of my best ideas doing random shit like brushing my teeth. But I understand that the shower thing is more common, so let’s go with that.

Monday Challenge: Noun Roulette

Posted: April 1, 2013 in monday challenge, random
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English: A jar of coffee-covered chocolate beans

Chocolate-covered coffee beans might as well be called inspiration pills. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Happy April Fool’s Day, lovelies. This is a special day in my family: it’s the anniversary of the day my parents got engaged. The date probably tells you everything you need to know about my family, but, hey, it seems to have worked out well.

I know you’re all recovering from the weekend sugar coma, but Monday is upon us and she will not wait for you to shake off the chocolate sweats. But I have a nice game for us to play for this week’s challenge. I call it Noun Roulette.

How we play is simple. Go here, to this random noun generator. Set it to something between five and ten—player’s choice. Then hit the Generate button.

Now write me a very short—100 words or less—piece of a story using all of those nouns. Make it fun.

My words? Cuban, grain, quiver, rabbi, and test. So here’s my story:

Setting her quiver down on the next stool, carefully so the arrows didn’t spill on the floor, Amy resisted the urge to adjust her fake Rabbi beard again and ordered a Cuban on whole grain. “Quickly, please,” she added, dropping her voice to sound more masculine. The blonde woman behind the counter gave her a look, but didn’t comment. “I’ve got a urine test in ten minutes.”

67 words. Your turn. If you need inspiration, go eat some chocolate.

Monday Challenge: GTFO

Posted: March 25, 2013 in character, monday challenge, plot
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Shellite flamethrower

I swear to fucking Christ I will use this thing. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was reliably informed this morning that our municipality has officially run out of money in its budget for snow clearing. The most recent storm was the last one they had allotted money for. What the plan is if winter continues, I’m not sure. One more storm, though, and I’m going to be out clearing the drive with a flamethrower.

Winter has overstayed its welcome in these parts. If you’re one of the unbelievable bastards lucky folk who are not dealing with this, rest assured that I’m wishing you a thousand bee stings enjoy your lovely weather. Don’t worry about us. Really.

At this point, winter is like that friend of yours from college that came to stay for a few days when their apartment flooded. But six weeks later they were still lounging around in their underpants on your couch, eating your food and swearing they’re going to be gone real soon. Any day now. But not today, today’s not good. By the way, do you mind going to the store? You’re out of beer.

But unlike that ‘friend’, you cannot club winter with a shovel and bury its cold dead body in the backyard in the hopes that the flowers will grow again.* Instead, we just have to keep putting up with its shit. I keep trying to evict it like that bar patron that just doesn’t want to leave, but ringing the last call bell doesn’t seem to be working. I may have to resort to throwing it out by force.

So, Monday Challenge for this week? Write me someone who has overstayed their welcome, and what you need to do to get rid of them. “Get rid of them’ can run from dropping them off at the bus station to dissolving their body in acid. Player’s choice.

All right, winter. Closing time. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

*Except I did this in a short story I wrote once called “The Cruelest Month”. Bad winter that year, too.

All About Timing: Deadlines and Time Crunches

Posted: March 22, 2013 in inspiration, life, submissions, writing
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Beasts of Hoth

This is what delivers mail in my province. (Photo credit: leg0fenris)

(Late post is late because I was out shoveling 8,752 pounds of snow out of the driveway. My arms are tired.)

Sometimes, the universe has no sense of timing.*

I’ve been working away at my list of submissions. To date, I only had one story lying around that I could send in. All the rest I’ve had to write from scratch. So in my quest to get thirteen new rejections in 2013, I’ve had to increase my output. I started scouring listings for short stories, and I found quite a few, but I do not keep a large backlog of stories. I don’t write a lot of short fiction, and what I do write tends to be in response to some deadline or another. Well, I figured finding some more deadlines would mean more stories finished. Right?

Well, I was partially right. I have been writing more short story ideas, and in general having more ideas for them. Part of that is the old you only find what you’re looking for trick: if I don’t have short stories on the brain, I’m not going to come up with ideas for them. Law of…I don’t know. Law of brains or some shit.

But, wonderful though it is to have all these ideas, there is still not enough time to get them all done. Or even half of them done. Which can be irritating.

There was one anthology that particularly intrigued me, but I was having trouble coming up with exactly the right story for it. I had some notes and a few false starts, but nothing worth submitting. And then I got sick, which put me behind. I chose to devote time to the anthology I actually had a story for and let the other one go.

And then I came up with an idea. A good one, too. It came to me while I was lying on the couch, covered in cats, trying to sneak in a pre-gym nap. A little more thought, and I knew I had something good.

But there was a problem: the due date was too close. With other projects in the works and, you know, having a fucking life, I wouldn’t have time to get it done. At least not done well. And I’m not going to submit a poor piece just to meet my own goal. That’s cheating. Again, I cursed the gods of inspiration** for their piss-poor timing.

But very occasionally, the world listens. Because when I was back checking more listings this week, I saw a change: the deadline had been extended. By two weeks. Just enough time to get it done.

So now I will. Thanks, universe. I owe you one.

*For example, three snow storms in the last week of March. What the unholy fiddle-playing fuck, Weather Gods?
**Commonly known as Research, Coffee, and Being Bat-Shit Crazy.

Monday Challenge: What Has It Got In Its Pocketses?

Posted: February 25, 2013 in character, monday challenge
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This is a picture i took for the Candy article.

Nom nom nom. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

(Note: In addition to that awesome photo of me and Doctor Doom, I acquired some kind of Goblin Death Virus in Orlando. Posts will likely be brief this week until I can figure out a way to either 1) fight it off or 2) form a symbiotic relationship with it in the hopes of gaining superpowers.)

One of the weirdest parts about coming home after a trip is cleaning out the pockets of whatever jacket you wore most of the time you were away. And there’s always junk in there, no matter how often you emptied them. It just…accumulates, like dust on the shelves or all those religious pamphlets in the mailbox. Six months after I return from a trip, I’ll find half a bar napkin or a coat check tag lodged in some inner crevice of my pocket.*

Think of the contents as the physical record of your trip. Ticket stubs, books of matches, small change in a foreign currency, dinner mints from far away restaurants, business cards from places you saw once…you can create an interesting picture of events from those things. It may not be an accurate picture, but it can be a lot more fun.

Your challenge today is to make me a character based only on the following items in their pockets:

1. A purple plastic cigarette lighter with Gina’s embossed on the side.
2. Half a torn business card. The visible half contains the surname Lewis, Esq. On the line below, it reads -aker, and gentlemen’s products. Established 1652 AD.
3. A single gold earring, missing its back.
4. A receipt for milk, bread, and seven pounds of bacon.
5. Four lint-covered jelly beans.
6. An unfired cartridge for a twelve-gauge shotgun, loaded with 00 buckshot.
7. A human tooth.

How did they acquire these items? What do they mean? What flavour are the jelly beans? Whose tooth is that?

You tell me.

*Which is odd, because given the amount of items I seem to find, there doesn’t seem to be enough room inside the pocket for all of them. New theory: Pockets of Holding.

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