Archive for May, 2012

Good For Parts Only

Posted: May 30, 2012 in writing
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English: Car (Lada 2101) Up on blocks in

She may not run, but there’s a great personal space issue in the trunk.(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Character creation is one of the best parts of writing.* Making those people out of your brain dust, moulding them into who you need them to be. And, occasionally, discovering that they’ve somehow decided who they’re going to be on their own time. Don’t ask me how that works. Sometimes people just turn up, like they walked into my head from someone else’s. Not a comforting thought, that. I hope they remembered to lock the door behind them.

But to make those characters real, they need real characteristics. They can’t just be The Sports Girl, or The Overprotective Guy, or The Crazy Neighbour. They need idiosyncrasies. Habits of speech. Gestures they repeatedly make. Things they do when they’re angry, or upset, or in love, or surprised as hell.

The good news: I know just where you can get some of that stuff.

This is a great time to start surveying the people you know for raw material. Now, I don’t mean that you should just make someone you know into a character and insert them into your story. You’ll end up with a lot of fights if they catch on and are not be pleased with their fictional portrayal. Seriously, step away from that. It does not go well. And it’s fucking lazy.

Besides, you don’t need the whole person. Just a few pieces.

You need their weird parts: your friend’s walk, like she’s got something wrong with a knee. Your neighbour’s habit of spinning his wedding ring around and around while he answers a question he doesn’t want to. Your uncle’s way of ending every sentence with ‘there’: “How you doing there?” “We need to get rid of those lemur carcasses there.” “Your aunt’s banging the mailman there.”

Little things fill out a character and make them more real. After all, real people do stuff like that. I sure as hell do. Just don’t go overboard and give everyone three ticks that makes them advance across a room like a clockwork automaton. But to make those characters into real people that the reader cares about, they need…quirks. So look for them in your everyday life, and use them.

And practice saying, “Do you do that as well, Aunt Sadie? I never noticed. I guess it was just my subconscious at work!” with a straight face.

*That and being like unto a god. Which is part of the same thing, I guess.

Hitting Reset

Posted: May 28, 2012 in editing
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English: Wrecking ball in use during demolitio...

Believe it or not, imagining a giant wrecking ball destroying the initial manuscript is helpful. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, I’ve written a first draft that’s as useless as tits on a bull.

Regular readers might recall that I’ve been editing a novel that I finished the initial draft of last spring. It has prompted several posts so far, including the Seven Stages of Writing Projects. That ended on an optimistic note. I’ve been chipping away at this for the last few weeks, but I could tell something wasn’t right. It was good, but there was no spark to it. No life. Something was missing.

And then, the other day, when I was making myself take a day off from running and playing on the swing set near the track while watching The Husband and Krys run, I figured it out.

It was set in the wrong place.

This might seem like a small change, but this is a very small novel, spatially speaking. Almost all of it takes place within the confines of a small apartment. If it was a play, you wouldn’t need scene shifters. Personally, I like the intimate approach with horror, but this was starting to get claustrophobic.

But moving the location, from the main character’s apartment to the house he grew up in, changes things. It creates so many more possibilities. It changes the whole tone of the book. Frankly, it’s too good a change not to make. This is epic level Plot Spackle, the kind that not only fixes the hole but turns it into a fresco depicting the creation of the universe and the nature of the gods.

But….

But it means I’ll have to rewrite. Big time.

Almost. The. Entire. Manuscript.

100,000 words. Very little of which I’ll be able to use, except for some dialogue.

It’s like I just hit reset on the universe of this book after forgetting to save. All the way back to the beginning. Lost all my equipment.

And I’m okay with it.*

Here’s the way I’m choosing to look at this: that first draft? That was a zero draft in every sense of the word. In fact, it’s best to think of it as a really long, really detailed outline. After all, the characters are the same. A lot of the events are the same. And now I have a much better handle on those characters and events than I did last year.

So this will be a piece of cake, right?

…That sound you just heard? That was my brain screaming.

*You know, now I’m okay with it. There’s a reason I didn’t write this post two weeks ago when I had this realization. No one wants to read me typing “FFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK” five hundred times.

Does This Draft Taste Fresh To You?

Posted: May 25, 2012 in editing, writing
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Pint of American beer

Crisp, with a lingering taste of adverbs. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the ongoing quest to Win at Writing, I keep trying new methods. My brain is an experimental space. Recently, I’ve been experimenting with a new draft form, inspired by this post by Joe Hill. I bookmarked it and then threw it into the giant junk drawer that is Evernote a while back, but found it again when I was looking for some ideas about rewriting. For those of you who can’t be arsed to click through, the link discusses a method of drafting used by Hill during his writing. The part that I’ve been using lately is mentioned here:

“With my third draft, everything is rewritten from scratch. No cutting-and-pasting, no editing on-screen. Every single chapter, paragraph, and sentence must prove its worth or die.”

God help me, I do love the idea of a word death-match.

I found this interesting, though. I’ve always edited the existing document. Or maybe a copy if I wasn’t feeling entirely certain about my changes. The snapshot feature on Scrivener is great for that. Never occurred to me to do it any other way. Isn’t it weird how that works?

Anyway, lately I’ve been splitting the screen into two documents, keeping the original on the bottom, and writing again as I edit. It’s slower, I can tell you that. But I think I’ve been turning out cleaner final drafts. No clutter that gets to stay in out of sheer laziness on my part. I have to want a line in a story bad enough to type it from scratch. You really consider how much you want to say something when you’re doing that.

Also, it makes my hands tired.

This is all good stuff, though. It makes me much less tolerant of my own bullshit. And, man, can I bullshit.

I’ll try this way for a while, see how it works out for me. But, if you haven’t clicked through yet, you should check out that article. There’s some interesting tips on drafts in there. Some of it might work for you. I’m all about the experiments. Stay tuned for more, or drop me a note in the comments about what you do. I might try it myself.

And, hey, Hill’s got a great line about writing: “I just want story. Story and a little music.”

Ain’t that the truth.

Side Effects May Include…

Posted: May 23, 2012 in writing
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Counterfeit drugs

If you write for more than four continuous hours, please call our helpline. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Congratulations, (client’s name)! You have decided to start Writing™. Writing™ is a process that, used every day, can help your creativity and productivity.* It should be taken regularly and continuously. Do not stop Writing™ before the course is completed, or you may have lessened results. Continue with the recommended word count every day until finished, or until your doctor advises you to stop.

However, in addition to the desired action, Writing™ may cause some side effects. These are often minor, but may include:

Increased Spaciness: You may become more inclined to stare into an indeterminate middle distance. Occasionally, you may see things there, such as ideas, plots, characters, or scenes. This is normal. Be sure to tell loved ones not to be alarmed, and warn them that, when speaking to you, they may need to repeat themselves. Several times.

Inexplicable Knowledge: One of the common effects of Writing™ is research. You may find yourself becoming a small expert on such topics as methamphetamine, thermodynamics, and cheetahs. Try not to alarm others by dropping it into random conversation. If this happens, do not panic. Just tell the listener that you did a research paper on the topic in high school that you, for some odd reason, remember verbatim. Or try to enjoy this side effect at trivia nights.

Nighttime Scribbling: This is nothing to be embarrassed about. Sometimes you will feel the urge to write long into the night. Or you may have ideas that need to be recorded when you wake from sleep. Prepare for this side effect by keeping a notepad near your bed, or by stocking up on large quantities of coffee.

Imaginary Friends: Your characters may become real to you. Sometimes they can seem more real than actual people. Do not be alarmed. This is a normal effect of Writing™. However, spouses/children/therapists/police officers may become worried. In order to calm them, make an extra effort not to speak to your characters in public places and/or places you may be observed by people not using Writing™. Examples include: in a movie theatre, at the doctor’s office, and during a parole hearing. Inside your own head, however, is fine.

God Complex: Sometimes people using Writing™ get confused about how much control they exert over the world. Warning signs include trying to make it rain when feeling sad and/or dramatic, walking in slow motion, or repeatedly entering a room in order to “get the opening right”. If this happens, remain calm. At the first opportunity, go back to your computer and find a world you can control. Warning: do not drive, operate heavy machinery, or attempt to Force-choke others while under this effect.

Each person will react differently to Writing™. Use with caution until you adjust, and carefully monitor any side effects. We wish you luck in your creative endeavour!

*Disclaimer: Writing™ works best as part of a balanced lifestyle that includes a healthy diet, exercise, and the occasional social interaction.

Beer and Zombies

Posted: May 21, 2012 in life
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BBQ - Self Designed.

Here is where we offer sacrifices to the Zombie Queen. (photo credit: wikipedia)

Hey there. It’s a beautiful day here in Bare Knuckle Writer Land, with sunshine and birds and some of those big flying ant things, what are they called, they look like tiny death machines on wings…Whatever. Anyway, my point was that it is Victoria Day, also known as May Two-Four, here in Canada. It is a day we set aside every year to celebrate the return of Queen Victoria from the dead. She stalks the land in search of beer, BBQ, and brains.* We honour her by having lots of the first two, but keep her from devouring us by killing the last with booze and burned meat.

So, in honour of the Zombie Queen, take a break. Go out and have a beer. That’s what I’ll be doing.

Otherwise, you may hear her voice in the night, as her skeletal fingers creep over your skull: “Just lie back, and think of England.”

*I may not have paid enough attention in history.

Your Comfort Zone Sucks.

Posted: May 18, 2012 in writing
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Black Patent Leather Fetish Shoes 1973 - 1977 ...

Put these on. We’re going for a walk. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And so does mine. That’s why we’re abandoning it.

Every writer has a comfort zone. It’s that place where you know what you’re doing and can be reasonably sure of doing it with a certain amount of skill and grace. Of not embarrassing yourself. Nothing ever upsets you there. It’s a comfy place. Hence the very obvious name.

But it’s boring as shit there. And that’s exactly the word I mean. Because how much do you remember about your last trip to the toilet?*

There are things about writing that will make you uncomfortable. It’ll be different for everyone. Some people might not like depicting violence, others might be uneasy about writing about a divorce. Or sex. Drug use. Religion. Nudity. Racism. Depression. Or, I don’t know, a plague of weasels.** There is something out there that makes you cringe a little inside when you think about writing it. And, because of me, you’re thinking about it right now. What is it?

Got it in mind? Okay.

Now go write it.

Hang on, hang on. Put down that big hammer and hear me out. Whatever came to mind is something that provokes a very visceral reaction from you. It makes you angry, or sick, or sad, or embarrassed. It upsets you. (Sorry about that.)

But you can use that.

Try writing a scene with that thing in it. Yeah, it’ll be weird and awkward and uncomfortable. I know. Go check out my experience writing a sex scene for the first time. But you can do it if you try, and put all that weirdness on the page.

And, once you get it done, you might like the scene. Or you might hate it. Either one is okay. You don’t have to let anyone else see it, ever. You don’t have to do anything with it, though I’d encourage you not to delete it. But once you know you can access that sort of feeling, and make it come out onto the page, you can use it. You want to make your audience upset? Use something that upsets you, and pass it on to them like an especially itchy STD. Make them feel it the way you do.

Funny thing is, the same applies to writing happy things. It’s hard to make an audience feel happy about something unless you can somehow connect it to your own happiness and share that with them. But you rarely have to push to write that stuff. It’s the dirty parts, the bloody parts, the parts that make you cringe that you have to make yourself write. But once you do, you’ll open up a whole new set of tools for your writing. And in this job, you need all the tools you can get.

*Krys, you’re excused from this question. I read the post.

**Sneaky little bastards.

My Crazy: Let Me Show You It

Posted: May 16, 2012 in life, writing
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baseball bat

I have the bat all picked out. (Photo credit: wikipedia)

 

You ever have those days where you get off to a late start with your errands and chores and other necessary parts of living, so you feel like you’re a step behind all day? And you manage to get most of the errands and other shit knocked out before it’s too too late, but by that time all the words in your head have built up and it feels like there’s some weird word pressure going on behind your eyeballs. And you know that if you don’t get that shit out of your head and onto some paper or a screen or some kind of recording mechanism soon, it’s going to rupture something in your brain, maybe knock some vital connection loose, and then you don’t know what will happen, but it’ll probably involve the windshields of all those damn cars that keep parking on the wrong side of your street and a baseball bat, so you try to get through everything else as fast as you can so you can get the damn story out of your head before it dies and festers in your imagination like a raccoon trapped behind the wall of your porch in high summer, poisoning and stinking up the air around it, but you can’t seem to find the time to finish up everything else and just get to it, so the story just keeps scratching at the inside of your skull, trying to tunnel its way into the world, driving you crazy with its sharp little claws and slowing you down even more…

Yeah. I’m having one of those days.

I swear to God, sometimes I think I write less because I enjoy it and more because I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t.

So I’m going to go write now. Just to be on the safe side.

This Old Manuscript

Posted: May 14, 2012 in writing
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This is a sinkhole in a parking lot at Georgia...

Well, there’s your problem. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You’ve had these moments. You’re writing, cruising along toward the word limit, and then BAM, plot hole. It stops you dead. You might have seen it coming, or it might have crept up on you out of nowhere, but either way, there it is, gaping in the middle of your story like an abscessed tooth. And now you have to deal with it before you can move on.

Some people will try to make the original work, no matter how hard it is. Some will put the project aside, thinking it’s too broken to fix. But I reach for the Plot Spackle.

What is this fine product? Simple: it’s whatever works. Think of it like the mortar used by shifty backyard contractors everywhere: mixed together out of plaster dust and sand and rat droppings and maybe some cigarette butts because it was easier than finding a can to drop them in. Mix it up out of whatever you’ve got lying around, trowel it on, and see if it holds. It might be ugly, it might be strange, but all it has to do is get things moving again.

But here’s the funny thing about Plot Spackle: sometimes, the fixes it gives you are better than the original idea. The point that you Frankenstein into the story mid-way through can completely change the manuscript. Maybe for the better. Yeah, it might mean some retcon* work later, but that’s what first drafts are for. Who cares if it’s a hybrid monstrosity with the stitches showing? As long as it lurches in the right direction and squashes the right villagers, I’m okay with it. I’ll put a pretty dress on it later.

Example? Glad to. Recently, I had two characters who disliked each other trying to work together. It was important; someone they both cared about would die if they didn’t suck it up and get it done. But those scenes weren’t working. It was too much pushing those men to get them to stop arguing and work. God, they were being such princesses. So I took an afternoon and laid out the plot on my dissecting slab, looking for the problem. Eventually I realized that they were the problem. Those characters, as they were, would not get it done in time to save their friend. At least, not by themselves.

Time to get out the Plot Spackle. In this case, it took the form of another character who, until then, had been doing something off screen. I was planning on using him to address some minor plot points later. But no more. He got the big-league call, so it was time for him to suit up and get in the game. I patched a couple of scenes to give him an entrance, stitched him into the plot, and off they went. And it worked. It better than worked; it gave me some great plot points. Points that would never had arisen with the original two men. It made the story richer.

Now, I can’t imagine that story without the third man. He’s too important. But he only got in because of a problem.

Don’t knock Plot Spackle. Sometimes a creative solution to a problem is even better than never having a problem in the first place. So slap that shit on, fix the hole, and get back to work before it slows you down. Come back with the sand paper and paint later. Right now, it’s another Monday, and we’ve got writing to do.

*Retroactive continuity. My comic geek roots are showing.

You Don’t Have Writer’s Block

Posted: May 11, 2012 in writing
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Writer's Block 1

This the guy you want to be? (Photo credit: OkayCityNate)

Stop saying that. You know why you don’t have it? Because it doesn’t fucking exist. You might as well say you have Chupacabra Warts. Actually, I’d rather people said that, because at least I’d get to hear the word ‘chupacabra’ more often.*

Writer’s block is a myth, perpetuated by generations of romantics and slackers. I get the draw. It’s easier to say, “I have writer’s block” than to address the actual causes of a lack of production. You can look tormented. You can put on Tragic Face™ and sigh as you stare longingly out a window.

coughcoughWANKERcough**

Sorry. Something in my throat. Let’s take a look at what might be slowing you down:

1. I don’t know what to write. Happens to the best of us. Sometimes you’re out of ideas. That’s when you hit the writer’s prompts (just Google it, you’ll find them). Or I’ll write first lines. A dozen of the fuckers. Some are crap, but occasionally I get a new story idea from them. Or, my favourite, check the submission guidelines. Anthology calls, magazine listings, journals, whatever. If there’s a deadline and the promise of cash, you’d be surprised how many ideas you come up with.

2. I don’t know what happens next in my story. Check your outline. Don’t have an outline? Ask yourself, “How can I raise the stakes?” What’s going to make your characters pull their thumbs out of their butts and act? Gunshot wound? Ominous noise in the dark? Letter from an old friend? Chupacabras at the door? Whatever. Do that. If it doesn’t work, you can always take it out later. But I’ve had great scenes come from this kind of Plot Spackle. (Good old Plot Spackle. I love that shit. I’ll do a post on this on Monday, so stay tuned.)

3. I’m waiting for my muse.  …Seriously? Go read this post, and then come back. I’ll wait.

…Done? All right. If you’re going to wait for inspiration, you’re going to have a lot of blank pages, my friend. Inspiration is great, but sooner or later you’re going to have to do without it. Those days, you just have to go out and find your muse.

4. I’m scared. Of screwing up the story. Of discovering you don’t have what it takes to write. Of being found out. In my opinion, this is the real cause of most ‘writer’s block’. Uncertainty and fear, the twin demons of a rather boring hell. Easiest way around them is to face them. Be honest with yourself about what’s holding you back. Understand that you’re scared, and that’s okay.
And then crush those bastards under your foot like a prehistoric cockroach. Feel them crunch. And wipe their splattered guts off your shoes before going back to writing. It doesn’t matter what you write at that point. It can be crap. It’s just a zero draft. Just write. Don’t let those crunchy little bastards win.

5. I don’t want to write. Then don’t. Go do something else. Surely to God your pantry needs cleaning, or your collection of stuffed goat heads needs organizing. Something. Unless you’re on a deadline, no one’s making you do this.
Or suck it up and write anyway. I often find my best work comes on days that I did not want to write. It was all in my head anyway; I just had to get it out. The only thing in my way was me.

So ask yourself: what’s in your way? And what are you going to do about it?

*If you say it a bunch of times in a row, it sounds like you’re summoning an Elder God: ChupacabrachupachabrachupacabraCHUPACABRA.

**”Wanker. Noun: one who wanks.” -Garth Ennis

Battle Scars

Posted: May 9, 2012 in life, writing
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It’s probably not healthy that one of my first thoughts was, “Hey, this would make a good blog post! I need a picture of this!”

See that bloody wound over there? I got that from story.

Before you picture one of my over-taxed protagonists finally having enough and taking my kneecaps in retribution for all the shit I put them through, allow me to clarify. I was out for a run yesterday with The Husband and Krys. (Yay for keeping up on 5K training!) It was my turn to lead our little pack, so we went off on a loop through the neighbourhood. I may have made them chase me around a few lampposts, but that’s not important.*

We were on the home stretch, almost finished. It was a beautiful evening, too: sunny for the first time in days. I was feeling good, riding the high, and then BAM. Tripped on a perfectly flat sidewalk. Wasn’t even any loose gravel or sand that I could blame. No conveniently placed wet leaves. Just me and gravity, that heartless bitch.

Graceful: I am not it.**

And how did I manage to trip on a perfectly flat sidewalk, you ask? Simple. I got distracted by story.

Yeah. I flayed the skin off my leg because of a story idea. It wasn’t even one of those big new ideas like I mentioned before. This was just a little tweak, a scene that needed to be written to expand a character I was having trouble with. But it was a good idea, so I thought about it a little more while I rounded the turn up the hill. I let it play out in my head, watching the characters interact, listening to them argue. I got some snippets of dialogue. I felt something worthwhile there—

—And then I felt the sidewalk. Luckily, I know how to fall, so I only fucked up one leg. And my elbow. It looks worse than it really is, especially today. Picture less messy but more gross.***

After that I picked up myself and my scuffed pride and finished the run. Admittedly, a little slower than I started. But I like to think the neighbourhood kids will remember me running down the street with blood coating my leg the next time they decide to light firecrackers in someone’s yard. For best effect, I should have been carrying a weapon of some kind, but, alas, I was unable to plan ahead.

When this mess heals, I think I’m going to look on the scar that’s left as a tribute to the power of creativity: Behold! I am Imagination! Creator of worlds! Enricher of lives! Slayer of knees! I have the power to lift you up, and the power to knock you down (with the help of a sidewalk). Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and fetch the Bactine!

Now I need to go write the scene. Because, hey, I fucking paid for that one. In blood.

*It was fun, though.

**It’s true. If I was an Avenger, I’d be the Hulk: everything’s going fine, we’re being clever, and then BAM SMASH THUMP RAAAAARGH. And then a building falls down.

***If the technical medical terminology is too much, let me know.

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